10 day cycle

It has been a while since I have done one of these! Meanwhile, the 10 Day Cycle has caught onto a few more lovely bloggers, including Jade of Jade's Musings and Hannah of Counter Obsession. (I would love to read anybody else's 10 Day Cycles, please send me a link if you are taking part!)

As I mentioned in one of my most recent posts, Infinity, I am currently rereading Haruki Murakami's What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, a memoir about (as the name suggests) running. Naturally, the book also explores the way that Haruki's vigorous daily running regime shapes and enriches his beautiful writing and his quality of life. As I face a grueling series of exams, followed by a plan to dive head-first into NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month!) as soon as they conclude, I am in desperate need of at least a little of Haruki's discipline. As far as I can from reading his book, I think the key to Haruki's dedication to his chosen form of exercise is that he truly enjoys running; and his enjoyment has led to it morphing into somewhat of an addiction. Despite the negative connotations attached to addictions, being addicted to something that is good for you - one that enhances and controls your natural talent and livelihood- must be a positive thing, right?

So, with that said, the following are a few things that I want to implement over the next 10 days, and hopefully into the future:

... Swimming

Swimming may seem an odd choice of exercise for me. It is certainly not the most convenient or glamorous activity to choose, at least not for somebody as vain as I am. Don't worry, I am more than prepared. To alleviate the effects of the chlorine and salt water, I invested in a keratin hair treatment, low-maintenance hair colour (balayage) and a shopping spree at the delightful Kit Cosmetics (with a strict rule attached: the products I purchased there are  only allowed to be used AT THE GYM).

So why have I chosen swimming, when it has required so much groundwork? I love the act of swimming itself. The gliding motion, the effortlessness, the gentleness. Getting lost in my own thoughts, focusing on pace and even breathing. The independence; I feel alone, but never lonely.

... Pomodoro technique

I have tried this focusing technique a few times, predominantly for last-minute essays and assignments, and it is brilliant. Sustaining it for the next month or so will be difficult, but I will need to if I want to ace my exams and get 50, 000 words written in two weeks!

Sarah Wilson explains the technique beautifully in this Sunday Life column, citing the real-life example of Ray Bradbury who, as a penniless freelance writer, wrote his classic novel Fahrenheit 451 in thirty minutes bursts, at the public library. You see, as Sarah explains, the discipline accessed through the Pomodoro technique allows us to access "flow": when we are so completely focused on the task at hand that time stops, distractions cease and much gets done.

... Transcendental meditation

I have tried this meditation technique sporadically, but I have been convinced that it needs to be a permanent, daily fixture in my life.

Two things led me to this conclusion:

1. Sarah Wilson's revelation that six weeks after discovering transcendental meditation, she landed the Masterchef gig. She meditated in the car before her audition; the casting team said that her confidence and poise were what impressed them so much that they gave her the covetable role. I need some of that.

2. Watching Eat Pray Love last week. Admission: when I read the book, I skipped most of the India chapter. I love Liz Gilbert but, as an unwavering atheist, I dismissed her plunge into the world of prayer as something I wouldn't be able to relate to in a million years. I was, however, intrigued by Balinese guru Ketut's take on things: "To meditate, only you must smile. Smile with face, smile with mind, and good energy will come to you and clear away dirty energy. Even smile in your liver."

... Blogging everyday

So, this whole writer's block thing. Apparently it's a crock... according to a multitude of impressive, professional writers.

"There's no such thing as writer's block. That was invented by people in California who couldn't write."

— Terry Pratchett

"Writer's block? I've heard of this. This is when a writer cannot write, yes? Then that person isn't a writer anymore. I'm sorry, but the job is getting up in the fucking morning and writing for a living."

— Warren Ellis

"Writers block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol."

— Steve Martin

"Writer's block doesn't exist...lack of imagination does."

— Cyrese Covelli

And, most cuttingly...

"Writer's block…a lot of howling nonsense would be avoided if, in every sentence containing the word WRITER, that word was taken out and the word PLUMBER substituted; and the result examined for the sense it makes. Do plumbers get plumber's block? What would you think of a plumber who used that as an excuse not to do any work that day?

The fact is that writing is hard work, and sometimes you don't want to do it, and you can't think of what to write next, and you're fed up with the whole damn business. Do you think plumbers don't feel like that about their work from time to time? Of course there will be days when the stuff is not flowing freely. What you do then is MAKE IT UP. I like the reply of the composer Shostakovich to a student who complained that he couldn't find a theme for his second movement. “Never mind the theme! Just write the movement!” he said.

Writer's block is a condition that affects amateurs and people who aren't serious about writing. So is the opposite, namely inspiration, which amateurs are also very fond of. Putting it another way: a professional writer is someone who writes just as well when they're not inspired as when they are."

— Philip Pullman

Harsh, yes? I think I needed to hear it, though. "Writer's block" evokes the idea of a kind of ailment; one which is out of the writer's control and can only be overcome with time or, as Pullman says icily, inspiration. I think these writers are right when they say that writer's block is an excuse concocted by failing, depleted wordsmiths, whose self-doubts are quelling their creative spirit. Clearly, it is something that needs to be conquered, if I ever want to succeed as a writer. In an interview I conducted recently, with one of my favourite Australian columnists, Susan Maushart, she divulged her very sage advice for aspiring writers: Write as if it were a job, not a hobby (or it always will be). So you can expect more blogging from here on out (but please don't be disappointed if I lapse; I am hopeful, but fallible). 

... Joy

Discipline can be very, very dull... So I intend to alleviate that dullness with little bursts of joy. Lunch at my favourite French cafe. Reading. Blogging. Staying up late to watch Dexter and Six Feet Under in bed, with my boyfriend. Writing lists.

... Sleep
I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. Glorious sleep, which I am so fond of in the mornings, but not so much at nighttime (when I can think of a million better things to do), will be vital to a fluid, dynamic, fruitful day. Hopefully, it will work itself out, as long as I expend lots and lots of energy each day so that I am desperate for my head to hit the pillow, at a reasonable hour, in the evenings.

So that is all for me! What do you have in store for the next 10 days? Exams? Exercise? Shopping? Reading something exciting? I would love to hear from you :)

my 10 things

Today, Sarah Wilson posted a list of her 10 essential things, as inspired by mnmlist. I loved it, and so I thought I would jump on the bandwagon and write one of my own. The idea is to diverge from the traditional lists provided by celebrities in glossy magazines, listing their favourite lipglosses and designer jeans as things they just cannot live without. I'll admit that I am not quite as virtuous as Sarah, and so my pleasures are not quite so organic - I do have a weakness for pleasures of a materialistic, superfluous or luxurious nature. I am trying to improve myself in that way, but it is so hard to resist the consumer culture around me that never fails to convince me that my life will be complete once I have that book, those shoes or that mascara in my possession. Of course, the purchase only propels me to want something else. I never learn! My first instinct was to hold off on writing this post until I was better; "cured", you might say, of my Achilles' heel. But in the end, I decided to just be completely honest; and once the list was completed, I realised that it wasn't so bad, after all.

1. What I wear: like Sarah, I tend to wear the same things over and over. Over winter, I wore my Morrison dresses, leopard scarf, ballerina flats and Ode to No-One jacket almost everyday. (You can see them here.) If it was cold, I would replace the jacket with my pink wool Alannah Hill coat. Now the weather is hotter, I wear a Morrison dress (my favourite is a white cotton) with sandals.

2. What I eat: bad things, generally! But one food I really love that nourishes me to the core is salmon. I buy it in bulk at the local seafood shop and poach it, a few at a time. That way, I have a yummy lunch for uni that fills me up and gives me the brain power to get me through the afternoon. Oh, and it makes my skin glow!

3. How I hydrate: In winter, I drink green tea. T2 is my favourite. When summer comes around, I make my own juices. I have a blender and a juicer so I mix all sorts of concoctions together (whatever my mum has bought at the shops that week). It's fun.

4. My essential writing tool: Synotes, on my iPad. It is just a simple note-taking app but there is something about it that makes ideas flow. I use it to brainstorm at least once a day.

5. My essential online aid: same as Sarah, Instapaper. It's brilliant.

6. What delights me: the warm, welcoming, enveloping hug from my boyfriend Andy when we haven't seen each other in a while. We have been together for nearly seven years but he still gives me butterflies.

7. What inspires me: definitely Sarah's blog, no secret there. If I need a little extra, I will visit my oft-neglected tumblr feed or StumbleUpon, another iPad app that scrounges up webpages according to what interests me (poetry, articles, pictures).

8. How I find "space": as I have mentioned before, I find it really hard to switch off. Whenever I am within the grasp of an internet connection, book or tv, I feel the need to feed my mind, even when that food isn't exactly nourishing. The only time I really have no option other than to take a break is while I am driving. I have to do a lot of driving; it is 30 minutes to Andy's house, 20 minutes to uni, somewhere in between to work. My car radio broke over a year ago so when I am in the car, I think. I often talk to myself. Sometimes, if I need a little gentle inspiration, I will listen to some familiar music on my iPhone or iPad. Joshua Radin, Scott Spark, John Mayer, Ben Lee, Missy Higgins and Florence and the Machine are my favourites.

9. My guilty pleasure: there are a lot of them, but one of them is buying books. I love visiting bookstores (my favourite is here) and I rarely walk away without having bought a book (or ten) that caught my eye. The problem is that I just don't have time to read them all, and I can never commit to just one at any one time because there are so many delicious options.

10. What nourishes me: those inspirational videos on YouTube, like this. They fill up my heart and remind me that the world really is full of love and warm, fuzzy moments. Oh, and quotes. I love finding a snippet of somebody else's thoughts that reflect my own fears, hopes or musings.

I would love to hear other people's 10 things. Please share them in the comments or write a blog post and post a link here, if you are so inclined! x

some things I'm loving this week

1. Eyewitness, The Guardian

Playing cricket in Kabul, by Mauricio Lima

The Guardian's Eyewitness is my single favourite iPad app. While most newspapers have simply rehashed their websites' layout and content, The Guardian took a different tact. Each day, a stunningly beautiful photograph is featured, providing insight into what is happening in any one corner of the world. It is one thing to read about an event, natural disaster, political situation or way of life; it is another to see it so clearly that you feel as though you are part of it.

2. Fatal Distraction: Forgetting a Child in the Backseat of the Car is a Horrifying Mistake. Is it a Crime? by Gene Weingarten

Winner of the 2010 Pulitzer Prize for Feature Writing, this Washington Post article stopped me in my tracks. Parents forgetting their child in the backseat of their car is a devastatingly common occurrence (15 to 25 times a year in the United States); one which results in a tragically avoidable death, with absolutely no intent behind it. These horrific mistakes made by otherwise loving, attentive parents are a reflection of our busy, selfless modern lives; each of these parents were distracted by millions of thoughts running through their heads, multitudes of responsibilities weighing upon their shoulders. Who are we to judge these good people? Why do we feel the need to? I think people find it disconcerting to accept that no wrongdoing took place in these situations. Helplessness ensues when we realise that an innocent child was killed, and nobody is to blame for their death. Without redemption or justice for this lost life, it is almost impossible to shake that awful, raw, empty feeling in the pit of our stomachs.

3. Forever Love, by Leila Koren

My boyfriend Andy introduced me to this gorgeous wedding video. Jeremedy, one half of the duo who wrote and performed the feature song, also heads one of his favourite "Aussie hip-hop" bands (I don't know which one, perhaps somebody could enlighten me!) The song was his wedding present to the blissful couple. (He is the groomsman with the hair.)

Although I do want to get married one day, the idea of an extravagant white wedding doesn't sit

quite

right with me. Not that I would ever deny anybody the pleasure of having the wedding they want - whether that is in a beautiful old church or a simple registry office; wearing a princess dress or old jeans; with a thousand guests or two. It's just that the sweet simplicity of this wedding makes my heart sing; so, deep down, I just know it is what I want for myself.

4. Permission to Quit the Low-Rent Experiences, by Sarah Wilson

As my loyal readers would know, I just cannot collate a best-of list without including one of Sarah Wilson's insightful blog posts. This particularly lovely one urges us to allow ourselves the freedom to drop those niggling obligations that we really don't want to do, and to take up things that may seem silly or frivolous, but secretly delight us. It is inspired by a blog post by Danielle LaPorte, of White Hot Truth. One of my favourite "permissions" that Danielle gives us is to "check your email whenever the hell you want". I always feel guilty for reading my emails first thing in the morning, and often throughout the day, because I have been told so many times how inefficient and needy it is. As Danielle says in her latest post, 7 tiny big life shifters: Screw it. I LIKE to check my email first thing in the morning. It doesn't mean that I'm a distracted workaholic, it means I'm an excited Creative who loves her friends and new friends and what she does with her day. I feel better now!

Permission to... Eat dessert first.

5. Throwing Away the Alarm Clock by Charles Bukowski

my father always said, "early to bed and
early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy
and wise."

it was lights out at 8 p.m. in our house
and we were up at dawn to the smell of
coffee, frying bacon and scrambled
eggs.

my father followed this general routine
for a lifetime and died young, broke,
and, I think, not too
wise.

taking note, I rejected his advice and it
became, for me, late to bed and late
to rise.

now, I'm not saying that I've conquered
the world but I've avoided
numberless early traffic jams, bypassed some
common pitfalls
and have met some strange, wonderful
people

one of whom
was
myself—someone my father
never
knew.

(via The Writer's Almanac)

"I look up at the sky, wondering if I'll catch a glimpse of kindness there, but I don't. All I see are indifferent summer clouds drifting over the Pacific. And they have nothing to say to me. Clouds are always taciturn. I probably shouldn't be looking up at them. What I should be looking at is inside of me. Like staring down into a deep well. Can I see kindness there? No, all I see is my own nature. My own individual, stubborn, uncooperative often self-centred nature that still doubts itself--that, when troubles occur, tries to find something funny, or something nearly funny, about the situation. I've carried this character around like an old suitcase, down a long, dusty path. I'm not carrying it because I like it. The contents are too heavy, and it looks crummy, fraying in spots. I've carried it with me because there was nothing else I was supposed to carry. Still, I guess I have grown attached to it. As you might expect."

— Haruki Murakami (What I Talk About When I Talk About Running)

five regrets of the dying

Today, Sarah Wilson posted this amazing piece by Australian blogger Bronnie, of Inspiration and Chai. Bronnie worked in palliative care for many years and collated a list of the most prevalent regrets shared by her patients upon their deathbed. All of these regrets are things that I have been thinking a lot about lately, while dreaming of my future. When I read this, my heart just sang (a purely selfish response, because it is also heart-breaking) and I felt validated, in a funny way.

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

The happiest household I know is my boyfriend Andy's. His mum, stepdad and four brothers live in a cosy place by the beach, which consists of two small houses joined together (it was originally built to house two best friends, an elderly woman and her priest). His mum is a freelance masseuse and his stepdad is leaving his job as a teacher at the end of the year to launch an online company and build boats. Inspirational quotes are written on a whiteboard in their kitchen daily. Their children are given the freedom to make mistakes and follow their hearts. Everybody contributes. It is not a life of luxury but the whole family are full of love, freedom and communal happiness.

I don't mean to say that their lifestyle choices are perfect. Everybody has to find their own happy place. I have just noticed that there is a new brand of success emerging, one which may be unfamiliar but is a whole lot more fulfilling and satisfying.

The brilliant Alain de Botton speaks about it here - a kinder, gentler philosophy of success:

"So what can I do now?" she spoke up a minute later.

"Nothing," I said. "Just think about what comes before words. You owe that to the dead. As time goes on, you'll understand. What lasts, lasts; what doesn't, doesn't. Time solves most things. And what time can't solve, you have to solve yourself. Is that too much to ask?"

"A little," she said, trying to smile.

"Well, of course it is," I said, trying to smile too.

"I doubt that this makes sense to most people. But I think I'm right. People die all the time. Life is a lot more fragile than we think. So you should treat others in a way that leaves no regrets. Fairly, and if possible, sincerely. It's too easy not to make the effort, then weep and wring your hands after the person dies. Personally, I don't buy it."

Yuki leaned against the car door. "But that's real hard, isn't it?" she said.

"Real hard," I said. "But it's worth trying for."

— Haruki Murakami (Dance, Dance, Dance)

what makes humans happy?

Sarah Wilson's column today really struck a chord with me, as it always does. She chatted with The Happiness Project's Gretchen Rubin and asked her to share one, foolproof trick to instilling ourselves with true happiness. You can head over to Sarah's blog to find out what that is but, needless to say, it's within everybody's reach. What I have learned is that happiness is not a lofty ideal that you can only discover after abandoning your family and friends to rummage desperately through Ubud or India... It's waiting patiently at your door, ready to be let inside your heart, if only you open yourself to the possibility.

The lovely Sarah has issued a challenge - she will give away three issues of Gretchen's book to readers who share what they think makes humans happy. I would love to read the book (it is released in Australia this month) so I thought I would partake, just for fun.

What makes humans happy? Well, I can only speak for myself, of course. I am no expert. But these past few days have been an ordeal... trying to stay happy, while my best friend lies in a hospital bed, feels wrong. I have struggled, I really have.

Surprisingly enough, what transformed my outlook around was her. She is happy. My best friend, who has two broken legs, the love of her life stuck on the other side of the city awaiting numerous operations after his legs were shattered in the accident, the prospect of not being able to see him for weeks, at least, and months of rehab and recovery in front of her. She is putting on a brave face, but she is truly able to see the magic in what I could only conceive as an awful, terribly unfair situation.... They will walk again. Somebody is watching over us, she reminded me, smiling brightly. Somebody, up there, loves us. Which made me take a deep breath and realise that what I could only perceive as a nightmare was, actually, a miracle.

So, back to the question... What makes humans happy, in my short-lived experience, is that age-old, emancipating consciousness that we are lucky. I hope this doesn't sound too morbid for what should be an uplifting post, but, just think about it - isn't it a miracle that we are alive today? Our lives are kind of thrilling, when you think of it like that. That being alive itself is the miracle, not the achievements and the experiences and the people whose lives we have touched. Just being.

And that's when those other things come into play. When we think of our lives as precious, beautiful gifts we are incredibly fortunate to be given, it is impossible to mindlessly fritter them away. Why wait until tomorrow, or the next day, to do what we want to do today? Why follow pointless rules? Why allow ourselves to succumb to fear? Everything futile and meaningless falls away when we realise that we are responsible for our own destiny and our own happiness. I don't mean responsible just in the sense that we are in control, but also in the sense that we have a duty to all those people who are nowhere near as lucky as us (and no matter how dire the situation, there is always someone... in fact, several billion someones), to live in a way that fulfills our potential for happiness. Capiche?

Of course, it's impossible to maintain this mindset, all the time. Life often gets in the way. Our best friends are victims in horrific car accidents. We lose our jobs. Our hair doesn't sit right. Everything just seems hopeless. So that's when we need to be still. Close our eyes. Take a deep breath. And remind ourselves that we may not be perfect. Bad things may happen to us and the people we love. But... we're alive. We have today, and the potential of tomorrow and the next day and the day after that, to change everything. Maybe not the physical things, but definitely our perception of ourselves and the world around us. Which, if you think about it, is everything. I don't know about you, but this reminder makes me happy... and, since I am human, I thought it be one, of many, answers to this never-ending question, which we all share.

"Here, too, a brand new day is beginning. It could be a day like all the others, or it could be a day remarkable enough in many ways to remain in the memory. In either case, for now, for most people, it is a blank sheet of paper."

— Haruki Murakami (After Dark)

some things I'm loving this week

Just a few this week...

1. This interview with Vincent Kartheiser, who plays Pete Campbell in Mad Men. He seems a touch dotty, in the most endearing way.

2. By Terry Ombre Blackstar in Bronze Moon. This cream eyeshadow on a stick is absolutely beautiful, and looks a little something like the lovely Diane's eye makeup in this picture.

3. Niotillfem - quirky Swedish blogger Sandra's life is particularly enviable of late. She and her stylish, fun-loving friends have just returned from New York and are currently holidaying in the archipelago in Stockholm. I can't read Swedish but her beautiful photography speaks for itself.

4. Sarah Wilson's touching blog post on "7 nice peeps you should know about"... in which she mentions me, of all people! It's no secret that I adore Sarah and her blog, so naturally her praise and encouragement is so uplifting!

10 Day Cycle

So another 10 days have passed, and it is time to embark on a new "cycle".

Last week went well. It was the final week of my break so I took some time to relax and get a few things done that I had resolved to do, like exercising and writing. I also fired off some emails (on the advice of the lovely Corrine at Frock and Roll) and received some heart-warming replies. I organised my desk and bought all my textbooks for uni. I attempted both recipes: Alicia's juice was yummy and Skye's mousse was delicious. I made the mousse for my friend Kimberley's Masterchef finale party - I had been on team Adam since Skye left, so over the moon when he won! I didn't get the laundry done.

Things to read

Confession... I was distracted from my reading list by Annabel Crabb's Rise of the Ruddbot... but I need to educate myself in preparation for the election! I did finish Living Dolls, which was brilliant.

So this week I'm going to be a little more realistic and just allocate one fiction book...

I have read the first chapter and been meaning to continue for a few months, and now I feel as though I am in a place that reflects the tone of the book... thoughtful, whimsy, optimistic and reflective. My friend has the audio version, which Obama narrates himself... divine.

And one non-fiction book...

I am almost halfway through this (after receiving it in the mail from Amazon last night) and it's wonderful.

Things to try

Transcendental meditation — Sarah Wilson wrote about this on her blog last week. I am very skeptical so I never thought that I would even entertain the thought of taking up meditation, but the benefits seem amazing so I have decided to give it a try. You can read Sarah's article here.

Recipes to try

A couple of recipes from Cannelle et Vanille...

• Poached salmon salad
• Chocolate, banana and teff cupcakes (gluten-free)

Hair and makeup inspiration

I am finally getting my hair redone today. I have been contemplating which colour to go for and, at this stage, I am enamoured of exquisite Australian model Samantha Harris in this Little Joe runway show.* It is the perfect, understated shade of brown that has none of that dreaded red tone that I hate (on me, I love it on other people!)

Her makeup is beautiful, too.

Things to do

Go to a dinner party tonight

Fill out the iStudiez app on my iPhone

Get ahead with my Law and Women's Studies reading; watch some movies for my English unit

*Enamoured "of" sounds off to me, but I did my research... "with" is grammatically incorrect and "by" would mean that Samantha is enamoured of ME. Just thought I'd clear that up in case anybody else thought that it sounded wrong... It's probably just me, though!

(Pictures via Primped, Amazon, Niotillfem and StartBreathing)

lean into life

I know that I sound like a broken record, constantly referring to Sarah Wilson's blog, but her column of a few weeks ago has made such an impact upon me that I just have to write about it.

Sarah interviewed Seth Godin, a marketing expert:

...Seth argues the workforce has changed radically and that it’s not enough to be a lemming employee any more. Lemmings are dispensable, as evidenced by the mass sackings of finance types across America in the past few years. Now, the only way to truly succeed and be remarkable is to create art. Not (necessarily) the pastels and parchment variety. Art, says Seth, is simply a gift that changes the recipient. It’s a generous act that sees you “lean into life”, like an aerial skier leans to travel further.

It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. Art is when a waiter gives great service. Because she cares. Art is not following the manual. It’s Susan Boyle ignoring the cynics and fronting up and singing. It’s smiling at the courier. It’s writing a book when there’s no guarantee of it being published.

A true gift is given without expectation of a reward. Although, they invariably become their own reward. Which is hard to fathom, so let me explain it with an anecdote. Last Saturday night, Seth attended the opening of Shepard Fairey’s art exhibition in Manhattan. Fairey created the now-iconic Obama Hope poster. He gave away 500,000 of the posters – at his own expense – during the US election campaign. He had no idea how it would be received. He just gave anyway. But as a result he’s become one of the most influential artists in America. Seth tells me a 4000-strong crowd attended the show and his work sells for $US30,000 a pop.

Fairey’s generosity made him remarkable. And, thus, indispensable. Any artist could’ve created that poster. The difference is Fairey fronted up, he gave, he leaned into life and took a risk. As Steve Jobs famously said, “Real Artists Ship”. That is, they deliver.

So how do we start giving gifts? How do we become remarkable? “The aim is to elevate connecting and sharing to the same level as breathing or eating lunch every day,” he says. By which he means, we start giving and then give some more and eventually it becomes a way of life.

And Sarah, on spending a day giving unconditional gifts:

It felt free, and expansive. Leaning in, letting go and not caring about being reciprocated felt natural and in tune with the creative process. It also felt more than a little bit daring.

This is something that I need to embrace, especially at my part-time job. I'll be frank: I am not an excellent salesperson, and never will be. (Too "nice", apparently.) It gives me anxiety because I want to be good at everything, both in my own eyes and in the eyes of those around me. So what I need to do is to bring something else, to make up for my lack of natural talent. Something human, and indispensable. It's easy to feel like a mouse running in a wheel, always trying to win praise and appreciation from superiors but never getting anywhere. It's demoralising. It makes us tired, and we wonder why we bother putting in all the effort. I guess what is really important is to set our own standards and live by them, instead of trying to reach the heights that other people pressure us to aspire to. It's the only way to truly live in the moment and be happy with ourselves. For me, I feel accomplished by making somebody feel prettier or giving them valuable advice. I try not to let whether or not they spend hundreds of dollars phase me too much. And, the thing is, it doesn't usually phase my bosses too much either. My "niceness"* outweighs their disgruntlement, apparently. Yes, that very niceness hindering my selling prowess is also my greatest asset — which, I guess, is the point I'm trying to make.

As for the other facets of my life, "leaning" into it is the perfect way to describe the best way of approaching it... and by "life" I mean love (human connection), excitement and joy. Embracing things that are enriching, rejecting those that are inhibiting, going above and beyond what is expected and offering more of myself with no expectation of reward or even recognition. Being self-aware and self-confident is something vital to this movement but something that I constantly need to work on, because it doesn't come naturally for me. The key, I think, is to embrace the things about us that make us special and unique, and exploiting them so that we are irreplaceable - not only in the eyes of others but, first and foremost, ourselves.

"No matter what they wish for, no matter how far they go, people can never be anything but themselves. That's all."
— Haruki Murakami (Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman: 24 Stories)

* I say "niceness" in quotation marks because I don't think I'm all that nice. I could be a much nicer person... I'm working on it.